Uncomfortable Tough Questions

Has anyone ever asked you a personal or perceived offensive question to which you answered: “Excuse me, but that is none of your business!”?  Questions like,

  • Could your staff’s under-performance be related to your leadership style?  
  • Whose fault is your high staff turnover really?   
  • Why do you speak to your spouse like that?  
  • Why don’t you think things through before you act?

…are questions we mostly take offense to. The truth is though, that unfortunately too many times when companies or organisations are struggling or marriages are failing, we just don’t ask the right questions.

Most people and leaders feel that they don’t have to explain themselves to anyone else. But would you dare to explain your attitudes and actions to yourself then?  You see if you would like to improve your life, your company or your relationships and grow yourself to be a better man or woman, employee or employer, husband or wife, father or mother, you need to start interrogating yourself.  Ask yourself really tough questions.  You’re an individual with LOADS of potential, but you might not even be touching the tip of the iceberg of what you are actually capable of doing!  Tough questions might just push you out of your comfort zone and get you moving!

So what kind of questions should you ask yourself?  In John Maxwell’s book, “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth”, he discusses The Law of Reflection in which he suggests that we ask ourselves tough questions on a daily basis to improve our lives in three areas.  This could be during a quiet time when you’re somewhere on your own for anything between five to twenty minutes or more.  Wait!  You don’t have time!  My friend, “not having time” is just an excuse!  Every person on this planet has 24 hours a day.  You can use your 24 hours to run around and build an average life OR you can use it to change your life and truly live!  

Reflect on the following three areas of your life:


Do you really know who you are?  What are your passions and talents?  What are your weaknesses?  What are you normally criticized for?  Bad habits?  Rushing into things?  What about being impatient or selfish or negative?  What one thing could you change to improve your relationship with that difficult boss or colleague at the office?  Could your life improve if you took more action or if you listened more?

I would like to encourage you to put yourself in the hot seat and answer a few tough questions about yourself.  It could literally change your life and the lives of everyone around you.  And if you have the guts to do so, ask some of your friends, family members and colleagues to answer some tough questions about you.  Make sure your heart is in the right place so that you don’t get upset with their answers…

Get to know yourself.  Accept what you need to accept and change what you need to change in order for you to go where you need to go with your life!

“He Who Is Afraid Of Asking Is Ashamed Of Learning.”
~ Danish Proverb  ~


Are you intentionally focused on improving your relationship with your spouse, or has it been a while since you thought about the value that you add to their life?  Do the people closest to you feel and know that you really value them?  How do you show it?  Do you maybe need to forgive someone for a wrongdoing?  Maybe you’ve been walking around with unforgiveness too long. 

These are just a few examples of tough relationship questions you need to start thinking about.  You are the only one intimately involved in your own life and relationships.  Ask tough questions that could change your life.  Be honest with yourself.  Would it improve your relationships?  Without a doubt!  But it will be a useless exercise if you try and make excuses for your attitudes, actions or behaviour.

“The Greatest Gift You Can Give Someone Is Your Own Personal Development.
I Used To Say, “If You Will Take Care Of Me, I Will Take Care Of You.”
Now I Say, “I Will Take Care Of Me For You, If You Will Take Care Of You For
~  Jim Rohn  ~


If something’s not growing, it’s dying!  We don’t realise it, but that goes for us as well – our dreams, goals, careers, marriages, spirits – everything in our lives require us to grow continuously!  What does your growth look like?  What’s your personal growth plan?  Do you have one?  What are you doing daily to grow and get better?  When last have you had a brand new idea?  What books are you reading? Have you encountered any learning moments today and how are you going to apply it to your life? 

Make personal growth your way of living.  Get better daily – for your own sake and for the sake of the people around you.

“At The End Of Each Day, You Should Play Back The Tapes Of Your Performance.
The Results Should Either Applaud You Or Prod You.”
~   Jim Rohn  ~

Wishing you amazing growth moments in the hot seat!


For leadership development or motivational events at your company, you are welcome to enquire here.

If you are interested in life-coaching or team-coaching sessions, leave me a message here.


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